Nature's Life Cycle
Shari Haber • March 22, 2022
Spring has sprung -- as it does every year at this time. It's when we start preparing and planting seeds for the cycle of plant life that continues through seasons of growth until those of death and decay. Just as it does (with more variable timelines) in humans and all animals.
I believe that being mindful about our mortality is life affirming, and reinforces the relationship between living and dying well.
Facing the inevitability of this natural cycle also opens us up to the preparation and planning that can make each stage better. A good place to start is to consider what matters most..
Below are my guiding principles about Life & Death. In the spirit of March Madness, why not take a shot at yours?!?
- Being mindful about my mortality is life affirming: it imbues my every day and every breadth with greater gratitude and pushes me toward greater purpose
- I hope my life will be time well spent, and that I will leave the world at least a bit better than I found it
- I hope to live long and healthy enough to help guide, and spoil, my eventual grandchildren
- I believe that while my physical being will someday end, my soul will continue on a different, beautiful plane
“What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.” - Philosopher Lao-tzu
- When it’s time for my soul to depart, I want to treat my body with grace
- I want the unique spirit and style I develop over my lifetime to be reflected in the way I say goodbye
- I do not want my dead body’s disposition to harm the environment, and have chosen options to return my body to nature in ways that can help nurture it
- I hope my children will cherish their remembrances of me and share them with their children
We don’t know when we will die, but resolving to advance plan is a good first step
toward dying better and with fewer regrets when the time comes.
It’s one of the rare times people will be really grateful to you for delineating instructions for a major event that you won’t be attending — or only attending in spirit. I’m talking about planning your own Goodbye: your burial (or not), memorial and legacy, and making many other key decisions surrounding your inevitable death. Because however well-intentioned, the idea that it’d be better not to impose your wishes, to just leave everything for others to figure out while mourning, is false. Nobody wants to guess while grieving. Without a roadmap, loved ones likely will have to scramble and make a numbing number of decisions for you, when fragile emotions may cloud financial judgement, the potential for family conflict is high, and the stress level makes a sad situation worse. Advance planning alleviates a burden from your passing, and can lead to meaningful conversations about what’s important in life as well as death. It frees loved ones to be fully present with you in your final moments instead of dealing with logistics and prices, and gives them space to indulge their sorrow. Prepare further by getting your affairs in order and documented, along with your key account information and passwords. And since death etiquette is real, pare down your possessions so you don’t leave a hot mess to be cleaned up after you. Making a Goodbye Plan isn’t morbid or woo-woo. It’s sensible, an act of loving kindness, and a gift to those who will try to carry out your wishes. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Welcome to the MGG blog. These postings are my way of making the otherwise somber discussion about death and dying a bit lighter, and hopefully more accessible. Whether due to the Baby Boomer generation aging, growing sensitivity to the financial and environmental costs of standard funeral practices, or because we lost more than 900,000 Americans to a global pandemic, death is trending. And as this formally taboo topic assaults us with jarring frequency and seeps into our collective conscious, death also is being reimagined. Modern advancements are disrupting the funeral industry and offering a dizzying array of new alternatives, like aquamation (water cremation) and natural organic reduction (human composting), while we also embrace some methods from earlier times, like home funerals and natural burial. Today we’re thinking outside the box, and choosing options for our Goodbye that reflect our unique spirit and the way we live our lives. There’s a lot to consider, and reconsider, before you can make choices and advance plan your Goodbye. Deal with it, don’t dwell on it. Being prepared will give you great comfort and motivate you to approach life with greater purpose, joy and gratitude. My Great Goodbye is here to help you. I also invite you to email me with your thoughts, reactions or comments to potentially share with a larger audience, so we can support each other in facing the reality of our mortality and moving forward. ~ Shari
